Lev Six The Marijuana Apologist Rides the Train To See Doctor Anti-Weed
Lev, dialog after riding the train to the doctor’s office:
by Lev Six
When I am seeking medical treatment and a neocon starts espousing useless lies to me, I will go off every fucking time! Yes, I have a disorder; I am allergic to idiots. Watch, she is going to refuse to have me as her patient on the next visit and assign me to another doctor. U mad, bro?
Doctor: Do you smoke marijuana?
Me: Yes, it is my medicine.
Doctor [angrily]: It is still illegal.
Me: So is collecting rainwater in some parts of the country.
Doctor [frustrated]: I guess there is no chance I can talk you out of your addiction?
Doctor: It can impair the motivational centers in your brain. It will kill all of your motivation eventually…
Me: I spent 2 hours on the bus and trolley to get to your location on the fringes of El Cajon.
Doctor: It can hamper your cognitive abilities. How long have you been smoking?
I was biting my lip and trying not to laugh, I couldn’t believe the bullshit she was feeding me.
Me: 25 years. You’re still trying to talk me out of smoking, by the way, even though I said you can’t.
The doctor began typing, red-faced and angry. She remained silent, whaling away at her keyboard for 2 minutes.
Me: I bet I can type faster than you when I am high.
The doctor kept typing, presumably diagnosing me with some variety of mental disorder.
Me: I can write better than you when I am high, too.
I lost it and started laughing.
Doctor: Okay, next question…