In Print

Some PDFs of Reviewer Magazine, as a free published newspaper-magazine (R.I.P.), in print:

#50,

#49,

#48,

#47,

#46,

#45,

#44,

#43,

#42,

#41

#40,

#39,

#38

 

:::

Surf like Tom Sawyer

While You Can

surfing as a portal

by Reviewer Rob

I’ve always liked how surfing snaps you back into a relationship with the natural world. You can live in the most urbanized environment, yet the moment you paddle out you’re in untamed nature.

These are layers of fossilized oysters forming a ledge at the base of the bluff south of the Del Mar Rivermouth. There was another softer bed similar to this high up on Mount Soledad in La Jolla and an old man who lived there said the oyster shells were left by Indians who harvested them and cooked them for food. “They had a real nice spot here,” he said. Not sure if these Del Mar shells were from a similar event or if that’s even true — these may have been growing here under water and uplift raised then to their current location — but it’s an example of how the edge of the sea is a yet wild portal to a universe free of human influence.

I feel so lucky I learned to surf here in San Diego as a young kid and have all those fine memories of living like Tom Sawyer at the beach in the waves. I hope this life never ends, but I know one day everything does. I’ll enjoy it while I still can.

Fossil oysters at the beach.

Fossil oysters at the beach.

flood relief for Harvey

Hurricane Harvey

and other acts of god

by Reviewer Rob

“There if not by Grace go I,” it’s a saying you’ve heard many times when witnessing some unfortunate other experiencing hardship. But it’s a truism that’s on my mind while watching the environmental and economic tragedy in Houston unfolding right now. Many many many times over the last 12 years I’ve considered relocating from the mild and sunny climes of Southern California to that Texan powerhouse of a city. Had I done so my residence and all my possessions could very well be under several inches of sludgy effluent and I’d be like countless citizens there without prospects for an easy recovery. The help those stricken people will need is going to be immense.
#houston #harvey #floodrelief #fema

p.s. Imagine if Harvey was YOUR name. You would h8 to be living in the region and actually being NAMED Harvey atm. lol

Poolside Mentoring

[Verbatim]

Scene: Pool

Mansplaining Made Easy

The following is a repost from Lara B. Sharp. ~Editor

Poolside Mentoring

Poolside Mentoring

August 2 at 8:24am

Scene: Pool, balding man, maybe 65 or 70 years old, with blue, bloodshot eyes, drinking from a bottle of Ensure, wearing designer swim trunks, which are half hidden under a huge, extremely brown, beer belly.

Him: What’s that you’re reading, young lady?

Me: It’s a book.

H: What’s it called?

M: ‘Men Explain things to Me’, by Rebecca Solnit.

H: What’s it about?

M: It’s a book about how men explain things to women and…

H: Oh, so it’s a book about men mentoring women!

M: No, not exactly. Not at all, actually… It’s actually about how men…

H: What do you do, young lady? Do you work, or do you have kids?

M: Umm, I write.

H: Oh, you’re a writer?

M: Well, I write…

H: Who do you write for, young lady? Women’s magazines?

M: Umm, no. I write for Myself. And, I’m 47.

H: You’re freelance?

M: Extremely.

H: What genre, young lady?

M: Memoir, mostly.

H: You write about yourself? I guess most women do! What’s your book called, young lady?

M: I’m 47. What’s my book called? It’s called… umm… Facebook. I mean, I really just write on…

H: Are you looking for a man to mentor you?

M: Whut?

H: I can really help grow your book. I can help you. As your mentor!

M: You can help me grow my… book? As my… man mentor? This book isn’t about that. It’s a book about…

H: Absolutely! I’d be happy to mentor you! I’m retired. I’ve got plenty of time to mentor a young lady.

M: Oh, right… Retired? What are you retired from? Publishing?

H: Publishing? No, heavens no. I owned a chain of corner stores.

M: Corner stores, huh? Fascinating. So, how is that… I mean… OK, so… But, publishing is… I mean… Soooo… Did you, like… sell magazines, in your corner store?

H: No, no magazines. We sold cigarettes, potato chips, cola, lotto cards, candy bars… milk… dog food… toilet paper… It was a family business. My dad started it before I was born.

M: Right… Cool… Cola… So… Is that the only career you had? You went directly into the family business?

H: Yeah, started working in there when I was a kid, took over the stores, sold them, and retired. Did pretty well for myself, young lady!

M: I’m 47 years old. So, OK… Because I’m a writer, I’m just gonna take a few notes on my phone, while we talk… I don’t want to forget anything important that you might say… Because you’re my male publishing mentor… So, you spent your life in the family business, owning corner stores, and you didn’t even sell magazines, but you can mentor me in the Publishing industry?

H: Well, young lady, selling magazines in a corner store has nothing to do with the Publishing industry. Consider that your first lesson!

M: You’re absolutely right. (Holds up ‘Men Explain things to Me’) And, this is extremely relevant to you. You should read it. Mansplaining is…

H: Oh, no… Thanks, young lady, you can keep your book. I’ve never been much of a reader…

M: OK, right, not a reader… well, I’m going do some writing now. Because you’ve mentored me, and it has really inspired me.

H: Fantastic! What are you going to write about?

M: I’m going to write out this entire conversation, from my notes, and to the best of my recollection. I do that a lot. Then, I’m going to put it in my… Facebook… Book.

H: OK, great! Let me know if you need any more of my help!

M: You’ve already been really helpful. Thanks for mentoring me!

H: You write really fast.

M: Yeah, I use both thumbs!

H: Did you go to typing school?

M: Yeah, I went to a special thumb typing School. Because I’m a writer.

H: Yeah, I can see that you’re a very good writer. You’re also a very attractive, very sweet young lady.

M: Do you really think so?

H: Call me. I’ll take you to dinner. I’ll get your writing career on track!

M: Yeah, maybe you can get my Facebook in all the local corner stores… Next to the cola.

H: Sure! I can do that! I’ve got a lot of connections. I can do anything! Call me! You should put a photo of yourself in that bikini on the cover of the book! I bet you didn’t even think of that! OK, don’t work to hard, young lady. That’s your first mentoring lesson from me, young lady! Don’t work to hard! And, don’t think too hard!

M: Don’t worry. I won’t. I won’t work hard or think hard, at all. I never do… Thankfully, I don’t really have too…

H: Call me! Number is in the card… Don’t forget! Put that in your notes, young lady!

M: It’s already in there. Believe me, I’m not going to forget anything from this conversation. I’ve written it all down! Thanks again, for mentoring me.

H: You’re a good girl! You know, this pool is usually just full of nothing but old ladies. Not young girls, like you.

M: I’m 47 years old.

H: OK, I’ve got to go… Call me! Oh, what’s your name, darling?

M: Gloria Steinem.

H: OK, Gloria, call me, I’ll take you to dinner! I’m going to think of a new last name for you. Something less Jewish sounding. It’ll be better for your career! We can talk about at dinner! Be a good girl, Gloria!

M: How about Betty Friedan?

H: No… I’ll come up with something better than that… You look like a Chrystal or a Lacey to me… A good name is very important… Did you just write that down?

M: Yes, I’ve just written that down.

H: Good girl! Call me! For dinner! I’m your mentor, so you have to do what I say. Haha! Don’t worry, I’ll come up with your name. And, don’t worry about the photo, because I have a good camera. Have a nice afternoon!

M: Oh, yeah, the bikini photo! OK. You betcha! Umm… John Williams. Great name! I’ve got your card… Wait, no email?

H: Nope, no email! First rule of business… Never put anything in writing! I do everything by phone. Write it down, young lady! Never put anything in writing! Call me!

M: But, I’m a writer.

H: Yeah, so write it down! We gotta get that photo done right away! Call me!

M: Yeah, the bikini photo… Well, I’m sure you know all about photography… Buh bye, John… Thanks again, for all of this great material. I’ve written it all down!

H: Good girl… Call me! Don’t worry, Gloria, OK?! I know how to take care of everything, young lady!

M: Yeah, I understand… You can explain everything to me… About, everything! I got it… And, I’m totally going to be a good girl… Bye… !!!

(Writes out the entire conversation from the iPhone Notes app, onto her Facebook page, using Both Thumbs. Orders herself some absolutely HUGE ‘noise resistant’ headphones, from Amazon. Throws herself, head first, into the deep end of the pool.)

the me channel

[Help Wanted]

News Of The Moment

Me, feeling the breeze again.

Me, feeling the breeze again.


What I’m Thinking Now, Just So You Know

by Reviewer Rob

I have a laundry list of things I want to update for you here today but I’ll just start with my thighs are sore. Sore, sore, sore.

I wanted to do some cardio pulmonary in a way that was other than on the treadmill so yesterday morning before working out at my gym I jogged around the lower parking lot four times. Turns out I needed that more than I thought because my lungs were burning afterwards and today my thighs feel like I ran a marathon. I’ll wait a couple of days for my quads to mend before doing it again. If that brief of a run was enough to feel it I have to invest more time in that regard. I used to run a six-minute mile no problemo, for reals.

In other news

I got a short haircut. I plan to go shorter too, like two fingers high on top, and military length on the sides and in back. I know I know — all my hair fans asked me not to do it and are PISSED. But this hot climate-change weather isn’t showing any sign of letting up and they’re not the one that has to wear this thick insulating layer of long fur covering their head. I’ve missed feeling the breeze on my scalp. Three and a half years is a long time to go without a haircut.

Help Wanted

This is probably something for Craigslist, but I’m looking for a video editor who lives or works close-by. No Indian Subcontinent subcontractors, please. I want a local tech pro. Must be proficient in Adobe Premier CC and other related apps. Must be fast. This is a paying gig. I don’t want an amateur. Email me at Rob@ReviewerTV.com.

Also, In Other News, looks like my schedule should be freeing up more now and you’ll be able to find me at least part of the time in the great and mighty city of Los Angeles, hopefully. I’ll be closer to the resources for Reviewer Magazine and Reviewer TV. So, as they say, you’ve got that going for you.

Three years of hair growth that I was really glad to get rid of.

Three years of hair growth that I was really glad to get rid of.

Follow Reviewer TV

[Update]

Reviewer, The Channel

Our New Direction, The Good Ship Reviewer Sails On

by Reviewer Rob

I’ve been meaning to expand in detail about the recent announcement that Reviewer was not in print any more. That’s partially true, depending on how you interpret it. But as far as publishing, we’re still in business, albeit online only for now. Later on I am going to post something explaining more in detail the factors involved in this decision. But for now:

So, as many of you know (those of you who are casually if not obsessively interested in this project of ours), after 20 years and 50 issues Reviewer Magazine is on an hiatus prom print. This is temporary. We can keep away from the printed page for too long, due to the ink being a necessary part of the publisher’s life. But when Reviewer Magazine return it’ll in a slightly different format. Perhaps it’ll still be on newsprint, but it will be thicker, with more pages, and it’s also looking more and more like it’ll be on better paper. We have had a love affair with the 30lb newsprint for a long time (20 years is gold watch-worthy) but the time has come to go more archival. I should also mention that there’s going to be a cover price. The days of idealistic and valiant struggle in pursuit of the “free” press are over, and I mean that statement in every sense our current political climate can have you interpret it.

The new iteration of Reviewer in print, when it appears, with probably be mostly based on transcribed versions of it’s video format. Most if not all of the videos can be found uploaded at Vimeo and Youtube now, Vimeo being where the new files are going and the older channel at Youtube housing the archives from before.

That will be the plan: shoot video interviews and then transcribe the audio to print and post links to the video when it publishes. Video has always been the best journalistic medium anyways. The written word is a powerful genre in the hands of an eloquent writer, but coupled with a visual document which can capture setting, body language, tone of voice, as well as a myriad of other factors, Reviewer TV will be taking this direction as far as we can envision it, and then beyond.

Please join us and check out our videos at Reviewer.TV. For now here’s some raw footage I’ve been shooting these past few days while on the road:

An art community in Joshua Tree from Reviewer on Vimeo.

Leaving Pioneertown from Reviewer on Vimeo.

at the Marciano Art Gallery on Wilshire from Reviewer on Vimeo.

Laguna brushfire about 12:00 6-29-17 from Reviewer on Vimeo.

border patrol checkpoint stop 11 a.m., 6-29-17, I-5 at Camp Pendleton. from Reviewer on Vimeo.

WNBR PdX 2017

[Protest]

WNBR PdX 2017

World Naked Bike Ride Time

The worldwide event comes to Portland again this month on the 24th.

Reviewer Rob

Last year I covered the World Naked Bike Ride in Portland as a photojournalist, and I was thinking about attending this year’s ride as a participant, but it looks like work will be keeping me in San Diego instead. This one will be at an as-yet unannounced location, and if last year’s protocol is any indication will follow a non-circuitous route that will be secret up until the last minute. According to their website the ride will be on June 24.

If you’re in the Northwest you should most definitely try to free yourself from social constraints and be there for this protest event in support of equality and acceptance. I’ve never seen anything like it and the people of Portland are totally The Bomb.

Here’s the photos from last year –> GALLERY.

Riders at the World Naked Bike Ride PDX 2016. Photo by ReviewerTV.

Riders at the World Naked Bike Ride PDX 2016. Photo by ReviewerTV.

Russian Presidential Election Interference

[Syntax]

“Meddling Kids”

Election manipulation by Putin, a thing of humor and satisfaction for our mainstream media?

by Reviewer Rob

from Intargam

Maybe our American mainstream news media really isn’t just one monolithic industry with one tight-knit cabal controlling it. Maybe it’s not significant that the only real use of the word “meddling” in popular culture here was by cartoon villains after they’ve had their plans disrupted, or “foiled,” by crafty heroes. But the word “disruption” was a perfectly suitable name for the alleged Russian cyber spywork in our recent presidential election. Even “interference” was good since it had already been entrenched via sports jargon. Yet all the big news outlets suddenly, and in unison, have chosen to to latch on to the use of this other arcane descriptive. I just ask, why?

#why #russianmeddling — in San Diego, California.

Scooby Doo’s meddling kids.

Hannah Haddix Magyk Tutorial

Hannah Haddix, in the back of the Reviewervan preparing to go into a Victoria's Secret for a shoot.

Hannah Haddix, in the back of the Reviewervan preparing to go into a Victoria’s Secret for a shoot.

[Alternative Education]

Magic Mystic Maiden

sex magic instruction along the coast highway

“There is no art without magic, and there is no magic without art.”

story and Reviewer TV video by Reviewer Rob

As you may know by now, dear reader, I have a thing for shooting art nude photos and video. The females that model for these are by definition exceptional but sometimes you meet one that distinguishes herself from the rest. Hannah Haddix is one such distinguished woman.

I had originally come to know of this art model and performance artist from her work as a magus in the Coyotel Church, a Seattle religious organization that she describes unashamedly as a “cult” and because she was posting nude art photos of herself on Facebook of all places from rituals in this cult.

Sometimes you meet an art model who is more than a pretty face and body. You find out they know some interesting things that you don’t. This woman is such a unique figure.

Hannah is actually quite a teacher-type and was very generous with her knowledge of “sex magic” (sex magyk?) and while driving on the Pacific Coast Highway through Los Angeles County from Malibu to Santa Monica between art-video shoots she was willing to describe the proper ceremony ritual technique for Reviewer TV (i.e. my camera).

Watch the videos and learn something, and if you want to see more of Hannah you can catch her on Facebook or at her new website, hannahhaddix.com.

Meeting Hannah Haddix:

Meeting Hannah Haddix, Occult Witch & Fetish Performer from Reviewer on Vimeo.

Then there’s the sex magyk lesson
(only verbal, non-explicit):

Sex Magyck, a Tutorial by Fetish model Hannah Haddix of Psychic TV from Reviewer on Vimeo.


Dame Darcy in an Arizona border town

Dame Darcy in Bisbee, Arizona. Click HERE or on the picture for the photo gallery.

[Travel]

Getting Bisbee

Visiting the historic old mining town of the Wild West with our favorite cartoonist witch as your tour guide

story and pictures by Dame Darcy for Reviewer

February 12, 2017

Perhaps named for the killer bees whose honey is as infamous as it is delicious. They are sturdy little desert creatures with long creepy legs. They will take over any dwelling in a matter of days.

They can kill a 150-pound peccary, an indigenous feral pig that runs in the desert biting things with its huge fangs. And if you leave even a little watering can out in the yard the bees will nest in there. They’re the spirit animals of the locals: creative, resourceful, weird.

Bisbee is the real deal. Bisbee, Tombstone, Saint David, and the little border towns, these are the Sky Islands. My witch sister just moved here.

I feel nostalgic. And this is only my second time in Bisbee. It reminds me of Bone Idaho where I lived as a kid on a ranch in the 70’s and 80’s.

I think this is the appeal for my sister too. She used to live in Idaho but is Jewish and from Philly, L.A., and even India.

So she fits in well with eclectic Bisbee. In big sky country the view is epic. Swirling massive clouds forever.

You can see the snow on the blue mountains miles away then closer another layer of jutting red and orange rock formations with some cactus and scrub brush. A primordial Vista that hasn’t changed in millions of years.

A timeless capsule. In the 1880’s The reign of the Copper Queen exploded the red hills into massive steps to rival ancient Egypt, and with it exploded the population of Bisbee.

Once 150,000 it was a bustling town of miners, cowboys, of all kinds, White, Mexican, Native American, black, Jewish. Not to mention the strange cults still operating in secret to this day.

And the booming brothels to accommodate everyone and cheer things up. Fences made from Victorian bed frames abound in this place showing where the old West brothels were.

Sold as souvenirs, we found tokens used by the ladies. The cash register in the store is from the 1800’s and originally only went up to $10.

This shows what a deal the miners got when for “$3 all night you could screw 8 ladies including 2 squaws!” Quite a claim for the copper coins, and horrifying in so many ways. All I know is the miners had a lot of energy.

Then Bisbee went bust and typhoid fever broke out. Diminishing the population of Bizbee to 5000.

Now there are beautiful decaying Victorian doll houses , steps leading to no where, past an art deco statue of a handsome man.

The use of corrugated steel and Tiffany stained glass both used to build a charming janky home built on what was once an ancient Indian burial ground then a haunted whore house.

Also you can live in a home literally made from a cave with a hot water spring in your backyard. All on the same winding little road, paved with a mix of cobblestones from re-purposed brick.

The miners, cowboys, and probably ladies of the night (or early evening, Bisbee closes early) are still here!

Along with artists hiding out and selling local hand made everything to themselves and visitors.

Everything I’ve seen here is re-purposed, home grown, vintage or hand made. It’s like an Old West version of Cuba.

Old cars from the 30’s, 50’s, and 70’s are parked randomly next to the barber with a red and blue pole with the hand painted sign. Same goes for all the food, clothing, furniture, and everything else.

Art, music, and weirdos of every stripe and age live here or drift through town.

Vintage is worn by Everybody here. Ladies in prairie bonnets for reals. I met about half a dozen folks who own ranches.

My theory is it’s because so much vintage and Victoriana was left over that now it’s just the usual fare of the general population.

I once thought my style was Japanese Lolita and random vintage. But I now know it’s homemade couture and Victorian cowgirl garb of Tombstone, Arizona.

I’ve been in Bisbee a week. The weather during the winter is very erratic. Because of this is the desert temperatures have gone from 80 degrees in the day in early February to below 40 at night.

This is a dry heat. And I highly suggest visitors stay hydrated. Many of the locals are at the median age of 60 and although they are spry, svelte, and rocking amazing white hair very trendy with today’s millennials, they are dried by the sun.

Being raised in the high desert of Idaho it’s a familiar feeling. Though one I will admit I had forgotten.

It’s raining now. And the sound of the rain on this large 100 year old house is very soothing. There was snow on Christmas and no other day.

The man who built this house was murdered in a water balloon fight across the street at the biker bar. And this house is haunted by him.

Basically he was a carpenter and transformed this beautiful old house into a duplex with skylights , stained glass, and interesting hardware.

It has its own cave under the Adobe veranda inlaid with ceramic Valentine hearts.

He died tragically, from a water balloon fight. Apparently, he was down the street when someone fired a water balloon from the balcony of what is now the art gallery into the biker bar.

A drunk biker came out of the biker bar, looking for the water balloon culprit. Seeing the carpenter the biker wrongly assumed it was him and stabbed him in the street. He died in 1980 and the place was full of bees until my witch sister moved in.

There were no maids to help her clean so she hired the local miners.

When I arrived in Bisbee my witch sister had her twin here visiting. They had met on the set of Carnival a decade ago.

My sister’s twin is a Hollywood actress and the daughter of a very unusual 60’s rock star. The reason they are twins and why they met is because Witch sister played the stunt double for the actress.

The role was a lady who was working as a carnival girl and ended up getting attacked by ghost miners.

My Witch sister is a fire eater, circus performing clown and contortionist. But now is a self made success story making hats and show girl facinators.

Hard core feminist as she is, she did a Jewish act during the Xmas season with a flaming menorah headdress. Also incorporating contortionist into her performance art act by eating light bulbs and lit up a florescent tube with her vagina.

Anyways she was the stunt vagina for the actress who in the Showtime TV series flipped upside down naked on stage before running off right before she got attacked by Ghost Miners.

Now seeing the two of them together in this ghost miners setting as a reunion location is two perfect. #twinning & #winning

When they drove me in the convertible to the border of Mexico in their identical floppy black hats and sunglasses I felt like I was in some wild West version of a Fellini film.

I was referred to the Mexico dentist by my friend Mark Hosler who invented the experimental music group Negativland.

The cost of a crown quoted to me in Savannah is $1200-$2600. And I needed 2 crowns and a filling totaling $6000.

In Mexico I got the work done for $1200. Total.

So the other main reason I came to Bisbee is to get my dental work done over the border in Mexico at a fraction of the price in America.

That is if you can handle parking in back of the Walmart, walking about 5 blocks up the long dusty path by the freeway through the border, and wait on the other side where all the signs are in Spanish.

The adorable young lady dental assistant came to pick me up in a little beat up 90’s Mazda. But Dr. Tostado does amazing work and has a beautiful fountain in the reception area.

I needed 2 days of 5 hour jaw bending and needles in my face to take care of the crowns and fillings.

Dr. Tostados dental work made my teeth look amazing and perfect. All porcelain! No metal mercury fillings for this Bitch!

Finally i had to go to Mexico to get my dental work done right with my new white privileged teeth. Because I certainly can not afford American white privilege.

Anyways, the toothless locals of Bisbee need to get hip to Dr. Tostado. He’s only a 20 minute drive away. If I lived here i would seriously go to Mexico once a week until all my teeth had glimmering veneers and every little flaw was fixed.

In Bisbee about a third of the population lives by squatting for free in the abandoned chipping Victorian doll houses and caves.

Then they eat for free every day where gourmet organic vegan meals are served in the court yard in front of the stock exchange. So they really should take advantage of the fact their busking money could easily fix a filling or two.

Dr. Tostado is a kind and patient dentist who apparently is also a nice landlord. Said the lady who I bought home grown squash from I met at the farmers market who rents from him.

I was showing off my new teeth there and apparently Everybody in town knows my dentist. He also owns a cattle ranch.

Dr. Tostado’s dental work comes highly recommended by yours truly. It’s much better than the work of Dr. Burrito, Dr. Gordita and Dr. Nachos. Though equally delicious.

Then we went to see Adam Ant in Tuscon. But that part of the story is so epic and emotional, that it needs its own whole other lengthy tome. Besides, it took place in Tuscon which is nothing compared to Bisbee.

Now the stars are out, the full moon lights up the gully. I shut my eyes and still see the endless sky as a owl echos in the distance. The dream of Bisbee is the same as the reality of Bisbee, epic and endless.

Love, Dame Darcy

Photo gallery HERE.