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Alternative Ozarkana

[Excerpt]

This Stream Of Consciousness

“cold dead blood struggling to beat through their fat hearts…”

(The erotic fetish model known as Apnea lives with Chase Lisbon of Supercult.com in the Mountains of rural Arkansas and post photos and words on a recent blog post at Apneatic.com. Together Chase and Apnea are hard at work on their indy art-house erotic film which has an apparent working title of We Must Remain The Wild Hearted Outsiders. ~Editor)

By APNEA, from a blog post titled Rapture:

Everyone out here treats us like the scum of the earth. I hate Baptists. I fucking hate them. They’re fucked up miserable people that I thought I escaped when over half of my Baptist family disowned me as a child — the best thing they ever did for me — but I’m right back, this time in a molten core of dozens upon dozens of churches filled with racist, ignorant, hateful, hideous hillbilly Christians that won’t even so much as acknowledge me as being worth more than a dog if I so much as dare wear a short sleeved shirt. They waddle around with oxygen cannulas strapped to their face, teeth falling out, eyebrows permanently furrowed, elastic waistbands struggling for life to hold in all of that cornfed rotting flesh and fat, and all of that hatred that they’re taught has finally crept inside of me and I’m just as full of hatred as all of these people. And just like them, their physical ailments most certainly caused by the cold dead blood struggling to beat through their fat hearts and now the something similar is happening to me. I’m always sick now. I’ve been to the emergency room three times since we’ve started making this movie and Chase and I are falling apart at the seams. Just like the people I hate, and now I have become one of them but much less docile and my aggression is not passive, which doesn’t work to my benefit at all since there’s as many police as churches always waiting to tailgate us or if they get in front of us slow down up to 20 miles under the speed limit just so we have to get in front of them or block our fucking car if we pull into a gas station so we have to go in reverse. Chase has been pulled over five times in the last year and searched three of them.

The Rapture came and sent these people to Hell instead of Heaven and as a tourist I’m infected with the same sickness that fills them. I don’t want to be like this. I have to heal myself and take this opportunity to learn how to shield myself from it. We want to get out of here. I don’t want to be scared to leave my house anymore. I don’t want to get dirty looks every fucking place I go except for the liquor store where my fellow abominations of God revere me as one of their own and accept me. Out here it’s just Chase and me, we’re all we have. We’re trapped here by our work. But we won’t give up.

Below: Apnea, photographed by Chase Lisbon. Below that panels apperantly copied from an evangelical comic book, posted to Apnea’s blog entry.

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