Hunter S. Thompson’s Response to An Unsolicited Freelance Submission
625 Third Street, San Francisco, California 94107 . Telephone: (415) 362-4730
You worthless, acid-sucking piece of illiterate shit! Don’t ever send this kind of brain-damaged swill in here again. If I had the time, I’d come out there and drive a fucking wooden stake into your forehead. Why don’t you get a job, germ? Maybe delivering advertising handouts door to door, or taking tickets for a wax museum. You drab South Bend cocksuckers are all the same; like those dope-addled dingbats at the Rolling Stone office. I’d like to kill those bastards for sending me your piece…and I’d just as soon kill you, too. Jam this morbid drivel up your ass where your readership will better appreciate it.
Yail Bloor III
Minister of Belles-Lettre
P.S. Keep up the good work. Have a nice day.