{"id":20415,"date":"2025-03-29T11:53:37","date_gmt":"2025-03-29T19:53:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/?p=20415"},"modified":"2025-04-04T11:25:52","modified_gmt":"2025-04-04T19:25:52","slug":"movie-review-bite-school-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/2025\/03\/29\/movie-review-bite-school-2\/","title":{"rendered":"movie review: Bite School 2"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[Splatstick Video]<\/p>\n<h1><strong>Back 2 School<\/strong><\/h1>\n<h3><strong>Reviewing a new straight-to-Walmart summer horror comedy from James Balsamo.<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Bite School 2 by James Balsamo begins with a campy scene of a group of people standing alongside a nude supine woman laying in front of a fake headstone and the comedy is off to a good yet strange start with closeup shots of her boobalacious body parts as they are being whipped by tentacles. \u201cLesbian Mafia\u201d is mentioned with a \u201c6-hour\u201d monologue by Robot Dracula. Then there\u2019s some guy that gets transformed into a werewolf.<\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s several references by Balsamo\u2019s character to cannabis dispensaries. Weed, naked girls, and killing vampires is sort of a running theme. The Hollywood movie industry and vampires, apparently it\u2019s an undead archetype even in the post-Covid shutdown era.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_20424\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-20424\" style=\"width: 455px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/2025\/03\/29\/movie-review-bite-school-2\/bite-school-2\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-20424\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-20424\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/bite-school-2.jpg?resize=455%2C661&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Bite School 2\" width=\"455\" height=\"661\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/bite-school-2.jpg?w=455&amp;ssl=1 455w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/bite-school-2.jpg?resize=207%2C300&amp;ssl=1 207w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 455px) 100vw, 455px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-20424\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Bite School 2<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Vampires, virgin sacrifices, werewolves, men in shlocky stage fights punctuated by interpretive dance. Vlad The Impaler battles a large flying big-eared bat thing. Then there\u2019s a \u201cSnack Attack on Buena Vista today.\u201d The stoner theme runs strong throughout. Did I mention naked girls? Cheesy zebra jokes. Eighth-grade humor for kids with access to their dad\u2019s cannabis. Director Balsamo wears a shirt with the word \u201cFART\u201d printed on it throughout.<\/p>\n<p>This review movie file is 1-hour and 32-minutes long, but I have a short clip of a Krampus combat scene in it on the Reviewer Substack <a href=\"https:\/\/reviewer.substack.com\/p\/movie-review-bite-school-2\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">HERE<\/a>, or <a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/HtBdlbNhYQE\">HERE<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Eh, I&#8217;ll just embed it here:<\/p>\n<p><center><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/HtBdlbNhYQE?si=FL_VA9RhOQPfUTlc\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/center>Bite School 2 is not an easy one to review. There\u2019s scant identifiable plot to speak of. It\u2019s a series of kitschy skits, spackled with I guess some inside humor.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s the press release:<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Bite School 2: Bite Squad, the zany adventures continue as Tony and his trusty pal Spat the bat embark on a globe-trotting mission to thwart the sinister Robot Dracula and his mutant vampire horde-all before the dispensary closes its doors for the night! Racing against time, our unlikely heroes set out to dismantle the vampire regime by hunting down the notorious head honchos, Rat-U-La and Karampus the Kramp-ire. Their daring plan? To trigger a chain reaction that reverses the curse, turning every bitten victim back into a human. With the quirky and resourceful Bite Squad backing them up, Tony and Spat face off against high-tech terror and fanged foes in a battle where every splat counts. Will they succeed in stopping Robot Dracula, or will the world be doomed to a future of fang-filled chaos? Find out in this hilariously offbeat, splatstick sequel that&#8217;s as outrageous as it is action-packed!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The large ensemble style cast look like they\u2019re having a great time in this straight-to-Walmart \u201csplatstick\u201d release. So for those interested in hitting up Mr. Balsamo to see about being in his next project, he\u2019s on Facebook.<\/p>\n<p>Here&#8217;s a link for James Balsamo&#8217;s listing on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.moviesunlimited.com\/search?mod=AP&amp;q=James+Balsamo+\">moviesunlimited.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_20417\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-20417\" style=\"width: 683px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/2025\/03\/29\/movie-review-bite-school-2\/licensed-image-1\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-20417\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-large wp-image-20417\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/licensed-image-1.jpg?resize=683%2C1024&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"James Balsamo\" width=\"683\" height=\"1024\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/licensed-image-1.jpg?resize=683%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 683w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/licensed-image-1.jpg?resize=200%2C300&amp;ssl=1 200w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/licensed-image-1.jpg?resize=768%2C1152&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/licensed-image-1.jpg?resize=1024%2C1536&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/licensed-image-1.jpg?w=1365&amp;ssl=1 1365w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 683px) 100vw, 683px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-20417\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA &#8211; James Balsamo attends the &#8220;Alien Danger! With Raven Van Slender&#8221; Premiere at TCL Chinese Theatre on November 29, 2021 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Tommaso Boddi\/Getty Images for James Balsamo, from Google.)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>[Splatstick Video] Back 2 School Reviewing a new straight-to-Walmart summer horror comedy from James Balsamo. Bite School 2 by James Balsamo begins with a campy scene of a group of people standing alongside a nude supine woman laying in front of a fake headstone and the comedy is off to a good yet strange start with closeup shots of her [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":20425,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1352,1986],"tags":[1988,1987,1652],"class_list":["post-20415","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-movies","category-straight-to-video","tag-bite-school-2","tag-james-balsamo","tag-movie-review"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/james-balsamo-head-squeeze-edit.jpg?fit=1849%2C1080&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2458,"url":"https:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/2010\/05\/31\/movie-archive-review-jesus-christ-vampire-hunter-2001\/","url_meta":{"origin":20415,"position":0},"title":"movie archive review: &#8220;Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter&#8221; (2001)","author":"admin","date":"May 31, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Human Meat Fight \"Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter\" (2001) Director: Lee Demarbre Starring: Phil Caracas, Murielle Varhelyi, Maria Moulton, Jeff Moffetreview by Michael Kmenta I have to start this by stating that I've attempted to watch this movie twice before. 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If you\u2019re a fan of anything James Cameron has worked on, most notably The Terminator and Titanic then you are more than likely to have high expectations,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;archive&quot;","block_context":{"text":"archive","link":"https:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/category\/archive\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9476,"url":"https:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/2013\/08\/27\/shamus-revenge\/","url_meta":{"origin":20415,"position":4},"title":"Shamu&#8217;s Revenge","author":"Reviewer Rob","date":"August 27, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"[Documentary Cinema]Blackfish movie reviewTweetBlackfish Director: Gabriela Cowperthwaite Running time: 90 minutes Producer: Manuel Oteyza Cast: Kim Ashdown, Samantha Berg, Carol Ray, Dean Gomersall, More Screenplay: Eli B. Despres, Gabriela Cowperthwaitereview by Bob Yunger Printing this review will most likely guarantee that Sea World will never advertise here, dear readers. 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