![](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.reviewermagazine.com\/images\/brittany.smokes.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\nby Brittany Vipond<\/a><\/h6>\nNo one could hurt me, if I just kept walking.<\/p>\n
I asked him to light my ciggarette, not for advice.<\/p>\n
“What’s the matta girl, you’re so beautiful. I bet you could have any man you wanted, other than the one you wanted. Don’t you know it always works that way?” <\/p>\n
Ha ha ha… He chuckled and I turned away.<\/p>\n
“Come back girl. Don’t you wanna talk? I could love you. Let’s go for a walk.”<\/p>\n
People are dying I told him, and so am I. But he didn’t get it. So I kept walking.<\/p>\n
Walking and walking and walking until my coffee was as cold as the wind, and my face was numb, and there was a hole forming in the sole of my leather boot.<\/p>\n
I tried to remember all of the hope I brought to this city when I first arrived, as I stood inside a sliver of sunlight hoping for some kind of revelation. And just for a moment I felt okay.<\/p>\n
“Hey Sexy,” said another passerby, and I felt sick in my empty stomach.<\/p>\n
They all want you, they all wanna love you and touch you all over. You’re so shiny and new to them. Until they see whats inside of you, until they see the scars on your skin, until they see you broken down, the decaying skeleton beneath that your skin. <\/p>\n
Then suddenly they feel like some kind of necropheliac. Then it’s back to the girls with new shoes and flowers in their hair. They may not be as much fun but at least they’re still alive. <\/p>\n
And they don’t realize that they’re the ones who killed you in the first place. When you were young and your mother wasn’t home and they said “come here girl, your so pretty. I’ll teach you what life is all about.”<\/p>\n
They told you, you were beautiful. And you were. Thank god for that. Thank god for men. <\/p>\n
So I kept walking. In search of this wonderful bookstore I’d seen yesterday, I was in such a daze I could hardly remember where it was. But I was determined to find it, and finally I did. And as I sat on the couch writing this, a man stopped and said…<\/p>\n
“You’re so pretty, why don’t you smile?”<\/p>\n
And I felt like I could hardly breathe.<\/p>\n
So I ran home. <\/p>\n
I adjusted the mirror just right and undressed myself for it. I ran my cold hands over warm skin, this time without any fear. I’m still alive. But the whole world is burning up and I’m just lying here. Pleasure was as close to death as I could get, so I thought of you, and I let your shadow lick me in-between glances and I lifted myeslf higher and higher with my reflection, until I was dying, I’m dying I’m dying. And I died there in my own arms. I kissed myself and the mirror and couldn’t help but just fucking laugh. <\/p>\n
I left the house without my lighter. I asked a stranger for a light, and told him, “Thank you, sir.”<\/p>\n
He laughed and said “Don’t call me sir, I work for a living and no one has knighted me yet.”<\/p>\n
And he didn’t call me pretty or ask for my phone number, and he smiled and so did I as I walked away. <\/p>\n
I thought to myself, strangers are really the most interesting people you can meet, and then for another moment I felt okay. This was my way of dying today.
\n
<\/p>\n<\/center><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
[Necrofeelya] Mirror pleasure death. And suddenly I felt okay, this was my way of dying today. Personal account from New Orleans by Brittany Vipond No one could hurt me, if I just kept walking. I asked him to light my ciggarette, not for advice. “What’s the matta girl, you’re so beautiful. I bet you could have any man you wanted, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1935","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-archive"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":13844,"url":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/2016\/08\/30\/photolog-lisa-carver-as-dying-mother-with-suckdog\/","url_meta":{"origin":1935,"position":0},"title":"photolog: Lisa Carver as “Dying Mother” with Suckdog","author":"Reviewer Rob","date":"August 30, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"[Theater] Low Gallery, Suckdog, and Alt-Pop Lisa Carver as \"The Dying Mother\" with Suckdog at Low Gallery in San Diego, July 2016 Reviewer Rob When Lisa Carver brought her Suckdog show to town last month I was ambivalent about attending but still probably would have gotten out to see it.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "adventure central"","block_context":{"text":"adventure central","link":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/category\/adventure-central\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":19548,"url":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/2023\/05\/01\/19548\/","url_meta":{"origin":1935,"position":1},"title":"Athletic Wear Solutions","author":"Reviewer Rob","date":"May 1, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"[Fashion: Surf Shorts Pockets?]Danny Essex of JumpBall Apparel Danny Essex of JumpBall Apparel is interviewed by me, Rob at ReviewerTV, right before the San Diego Fashion Week 2023 Spring Showcase show, April 22, Hotel Republic, downtown. I arrived to the show with plenty of time to get a good seat\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "archive"","block_context":{"text":"archive","link":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/category\/archive\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Danny Essex at SDFW 2023","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/screen-shot-danny-essex-copy.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/screen-shot-danny-essex-copy.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/screen-shot-danny-essex-copy.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/screen-shot-danny-essex-copy.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/screen-shot-danny-essex-copy.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":11146,"url":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/2015\/02\/06\/aee-2015-trade-show-insights\/","url_meta":{"origin":1935,"position":2},"title":"AEE 2015 Trade Show Insights","author":"Reviewer Rob","date":"February 6, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"What I Learned At The 2015 Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas by Reviewer Rob As many of you who follow Reviewer Magazine on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook know, January was when I reported from the annual Adult Entertainment Expo (AEE) in Las Vegas, Nevada. I attended because, for the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "adventure central"","block_context":{"text":"adventure central","link":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/category\/adventure-central\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":568,"url":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/2009\/02\/04\/christian-bale-remix\/","url_meta":{"origin":1935,"position":3},"title":"Christian Bale remix","author":"admin","date":"February 4, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"\"I ain't walking on this set if you're still hired.\"Gotta like a guy who knows what he wants...","rel":"","context":"In "archive"","block_context":{"text":"archive","link":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/category\/archive\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9860,"url":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/2013\/12\/04\/9860\/","url_meta":{"origin":1935,"position":4},"title":"CRAZY EYE: Punkrock Thug Life with Ben johnson","author":"Reviewer Rob","date":"December 4, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Grammatical TalesOn The Road With Tourettes Lautrec Ben Johnson\u2019s adventurous 1997 tale from a tour in his early band to pre-Katrina New Orleans ... Back in 1997, my band at the time, Tourettes Lautrec, was headed out on our fi rst nationwide tour. Through countless hours on the phone, calling\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "adventure central"","block_context":{"text":"adventure central","link":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/category\/adventure-central\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":606,"url":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/2008\/02\/24\/sailing-to-byzantium-by-yeats\/","url_meta":{"origin":1935,"position":5},"title":"Sailing To Byzantium, by Yeats","author":"admin","date":"February 24, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"No Country For Old Men\"Sailing To Byzantium\" \u2013 by William Butler Yeats That is no country for old men. The young In one another's arms, birds in the trees --Those dying generations--at their song, The salmon-falls, the mackerel-crowded seas, Fish, flesh, or fowl commend all summer long Whatever is begotten,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "archive"","block_context":{"text":"archive","link":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/category\/archive\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1935","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1935"}],"version-history":[{"count":17,"href":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1935\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1940,"href":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1935\/revisions\/1940"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1935"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1935"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1935"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
![Brittany Vipond<\/a><\/h6>\nNo one could hurt me, if I just kept walking.<\/p>\nI asked him to light my ciggarette, not for advice.<\/p>\n“What’s the matta girl, you’re so beautiful. I bet you could have any man you wanted, other than the one you wanted. Don’t you know it always works that way?” <\/p>\nHa ha ha… He chuckled and I turned away.<\/p>\n“Come back girl. Don’t you wanna talk? I could love you. Let’s go for a walk.”<\/p>\nPeople are dying I told him, and so am I. But he didn’t get it. So I kept walking.<\/p>\nWalking and walking and walking until my coffee was as cold as the wind, and my face was numb, and there was a hole forming in the sole of my leather boot.<\/p>\nI tried to remember all of the hope I brought to this city when I first arrived, as I stood inside a sliver of sunlight hoping for some kind of revelation. And just for a moment I felt okay.<\/p>\n“Hey Sexy,” said another passerby, and I felt sick in my empty stomach.<\/p>\nThey all want you, they all wanna love you and touch you all over. You’re so shiny and new to them. Until they see whats inside of you, until they see the scars on your skin, until they see you broken down, the decaying skeleton beneath that your skin. <\/p>\nThen suddenly they feel like some kind of necropheliac. Then it’s back to the girls with new shoes and flowers in their hair. They may not be as much fun but at least they’re still alive. <\/p>\nAnd they don’t realize that they’re the ones who killed you in the first place. When you were young and your mother wasn’t home and they said “come here girl, your so pretty. I’ll teach you what life is all about.”<\/p>\nThey told you, you were beautiful. And you were. Thank god for that. Thank god for men. <\/p>\nSo I kept walking. In search of this wonderful bookstore I’d seen yesterday, I was in such a daze I could hardly remember where it was. But I was determined to find it, and finally I did. And as I sat on the couch writing this, a man stopped and said…<\/p>\n“You’re so pretty, why don’t you smile?”<\/p>\nAnd I felt like I could hardly breathe.<\/p>\nSo I ran home. <\/p>\nI adjusted the mirror just right and undressed myself for it. I ran my cold hands over warm skin, this time without any fear. I’m still alive. But the whole world is burning up and I’m just lying here. Pleasure was as close to death as I could get, so I thought of you, and I let your shadow lick me in-between glances and I lifted myeslf higher and higher with my reflection, until I was dying, I’m dying I’m dying. And I died there in my own arms. I kissed myself and the mirror and couldn’t help but just fucking laugh. <\/p>\nI left the house without my lighter. I asked a stranger for a light, and told him, “Thank you, sir.”<\/p>\nHe laughed and said “Don’t call me sir, I work for a living and no one has knighted me yet.”<\/p>\nAnd he didn’t call me pretty or ask for my phone number, and he smiled and so did I as I walked away. <\/p>\nI thought to myself, strangers are really the most interesting people you can meet, and then for another moment I felt okay. This was my way of dying today.\n<\/p>\n<\/center><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"[Necrofeelya] Mirror pleasure death. And suddenly I felt okay, this was my way of dying today. Personal account from New Orleans by Brittany Vipond No one could hurt me, if I just kept walking. I asked him to light my ciggarette, not for advice. “What’s the matta girl, you’re so beautiful. I bet you could have any man you wanted, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1935","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-archive"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":13844,"url":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/2016\/08\/30\/photolog-lisa-carver-as-dying-mother-with-suckdog\/","url_meta":{"origin":1935,"position":0},"title":"photolog: Lisa Carver as “Dying Mother” with Suckdog","author":"Reviewer Rob","date":"August 30, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"[Theater] Low Gallery, Suckdog, and Alt-Pop Lisa Carver as \"The Dying Mother\" with Suckdog at Low Gallery in San Diego, July 2016 Reviewer Rob When Lisa Carver brought her Suckdog show to town last month I was ambivalent about attending but still probably would have gotten out to see it.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "adventure central"","block_context":{"text":"adventure central","link":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/category\/adventure-central\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":19548,"url":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/2023\/05\/01\/19548\/","url_meta":{"origin":1935,"position":1},"title":"Athletic Wear Solutions","author":"Reviewer Rob","date":"May 1, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"[Fashion: Surf Shorts Pockets?]Danny Essex of JumpBall Apparel Danny Essex of JumpBall Apparel is interviewed by me, Rob at ReviewerTV, right before the San Diego Fashion Week 2023 Spring Showcase show, April 22, Hotel Republic, downtown. I arrived to the show with plenty of time to get a good seat\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "archive"","block_context":{"text":"archive","link":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/category\/archive\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Danny Essex at SDFW 2023","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/screen-shot-danny-essex-copy.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/screen-shot-danny-essex-copy.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/screen-shot-danny-essex-copy.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/screen-shot-danny-essex-copy.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/screen-shot-danny-essex-copy.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":11146,"url":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/2015\/02\/06\/aee-2015-trade-show-insights\/","url_meta":{"origin":1935,"position":2},"title":"AEE 2015 Trade Show Insights","author":"Reviewer Rob","date":"February 6, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"What I Learned At The 2015 Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas by Reviewer Rob As many of you who follow Reviewer Magazine on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook know, January was when I reported from the annual Adult Entertainment Expo (AEE) in Las Vegas, Nevada. I attended because, for the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "adventure central"","block_context":{"text":"adventure central","link":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/category\/adventure-central\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":568,"url":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/2009\/02\/04\/christian-bale-remix\/","url_meta":{"origin":1935,"position":3},"title":"Christian Bale remix","author":"admin","date":"February 4, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"\"I ain't walking on this set if you're still hired.\"Gotta like a guy who knows what he wants...","rel":"","context":"In "archive"","block_context":{"text":"archive","link":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/category\/archive\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9860,"url":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/2013\/12\/04\/9860\/","url_meta":{"origin":1935,"position":4},"title":"CRAZY EYE: Punkrock Thug Life with Ben johnson","author":"Reviewer Rob","date":"December 4, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Grammatical TalesOn The Road With Tourettes Lautrec Ben Johnson\u2019s adventurous 1997 tale from a tour in his early band to pre-Katrina New Orleans ... Back in 1997, my band at the time, Tourettes Lautrec, was headed out on our fi rst nationwide tour. Through countless hours on the phone, calling\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "adventure central"","block_context":{"text":"adventure central","link":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/category\/adventure-central\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":606,"url":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/2008\/02\/24\/sailing-to-byzantium-by-yeats\/","url_meta":{"origin":1935,"position":5},"title":"Sailing To Byzantium, by Yeats","author":"admin","date":"February 24, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"No Country For Old Men\"Sailing To Byzantium\" \u2013 by William Butler Yeats That is no country for old men. The young In one another's arms, birds in the trees --Those dying generations--at their song, The salmon-falls, the mackerel-crowded seas, Fish, flesh, or fowl commend all summer long Whatever is begotten,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "archive"","block_context":{"text":"archive","link":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/category\/archive\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1935","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1935"}],"version-history":[{"count":17,"href":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1935\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1940,"href":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1935\/revisions\/1940"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1935"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1935"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1935"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}](\"http:\/\/www.reviewermagazine.com\/images\/brittany.smokes.jpg\"){kind=link}
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[Necrofeelya] Mirror pleasure death. And suddenly I felt okay, this was my way of dying today. Personal account from New Orleans by Brittany Vipond No one could hurt me, if I just kept walking. I asked him to light my ciggarette, not for advice. “What’s the matta girl, you’re so beautiful. 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