{"id":13198,"date":"2016-01-21T12:48:00","date_gmt":"2016-01-21T19:48:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/?p=13198"},"modified":"2016-01-21T13:10:39","modified_gmt":"2016-01-21T20:10:39","slug":"glenn-freys-obituary-from-a-legitimate-eagles-anti-fan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/reviewermag.com\/press\/2016\/01\/21\/glenn-freys-obituary-from-a-legitimate-eagles-anti-fan\/","title":{"rendered":"Glenn Frey’s Obituary, From A Legitimate Eagles Anti-fan"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Jeff<\/a>
Jeff Smith of The Hickoids and Saustex Records.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/p>\n

R.I.P. Glenn Frey<\/h1>\n

“the difference between a melted ice cream sandwich laying on the sidewalk and Baked Alaska at a five star restaurant”<\/h3>\n

by Jeff Smith
\nfrom his Facebook<\/em><\/a> page<\/strong> <\/p>\n

The \u201ccorntroversy\u201d has died down a little and I\u2019m not attempting to reignite it, just attempting to add a little clarification. I bore no malice against Glenn Frey other than that he was part of The Eagles. In light of all the other recent tragedies surrounding people I actually knew and\/or greatly admired I can\u2019t say that his death was even a blip on my emotional radar, but having experienced many such recent losses my heart goes out to his family and loved ones. I was reminded via a comment that having just experienced the loss of a bandmate and best friend I should have been more sensitive\u2026perhaps that is so, but I\u2019ll get to that in a bit.<\/p>\n

First, let me state that I didn\u2019t just jump on \u201cThe Eagles Suck\u201d bandwagon. I\u2019m not here to claim I was the first one on the train, but, history will show as much, and I have physical evidence in the form of the Hickoids 1986 release \u201cHard Corn\u201d on Toxic Shock Records. A close inspection of the run-out band of the 45 (the blank space at the end of a vinyl record) will reveal the phrase \u201cBring me the head of Don Henley\u201d etched into the vinyl. This was no accident and was three full years before Mojo Nixon would release the song \u201cDon Henley Must Die\u201d for Enigma Records on his \u201cOtis\u201d album. So, I\u2019ve got a solid three decades in the club.<\/p>\n

Now, you\u2019re probably asking yourself \u201cwhere does someone whose best-selling release (around 10,000 copies) get off saying that The Eagles suck, and why?\u201d Well, having come of age in the late 70\u2019s and early 80\u2019s punk scene it was a prerequisite to dislike anything that was popular. Some of that I equate with the hubris of youth. Some of it is qualified. Some is unqualified. Indeed I have often revisited music that I disliked only on punk principle and changed my opinion, or at least found some qualities about the recording in question that I can say \u201cthat is smoking production and playing even if I don\u2019t like the artist or song\u201d \u2014 a couple of notable cases of this would be Steely Dan, early Led Zeppelin and especially Pink Floyd\u2019s \u201cWish You Were Here\u201d and \u201cDark Side Of The Moon\u201d albums. I think that any human being who has lived in the United States for the past forty years and is not hearing-impaired can attest that you don\u2019t really need to \u201crevisit\u201d The Eagles as they are omnipresent. It is nearly impossible to go a day or surely a week without hearing one of their tunes. They\u2019re oppressive – that\u2019s part of the problem.<\/p>\n

How and why did they become omnipresent and oppressive? That\u2019s a bigger part of the problem. Without going into a detailed history of radio programming, payola and the rise of FM Radio in the United States I will just say that FM and especially the AOR format (album oriented radio) represented the death of variety in radio for a number of reasons\u2026longer songs, fewer artists in rotation and album releases remaining in the rotation for longer periods of time. It brought about the rise of the blockbuster multi-platinum album and subsequently the multi-year stadium tour. This is an oversimplification, but I hope you\u2019ll see my point: more, longer songs by a more limited number of artists equals less variety.<\/p>\n

And for me at least, The Eagles dripped, exuded, were and still are the penultimate amalgam of the blandness required to sell ads on radio. They represented the end-game and final death knell in the mainstream\u2019s co-optation of the hippie movement. There were some exceptional artists who benefitted from all this, most notably Tom Waits (who in spite of a lack of chart success was able to make a catalog of great albums in this industry environment.)<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll forego picking apart lyrics, business plans, etc\u2026 Suffice it to say that in my opinion (and again, it is only my opinion) that The Eagles possessed almost as much soul as their slightly more rocking cartoon counterparts, The Archies. They are\/were more an elaborate cash-flow device than a rock band. They miserably failed to deliver on the promise offered by The Byrds and The Flying Burrito Brothers.<\/p>\n

SO – back to my original point – when someone tacitly implied that Glenn Frey was somehow an equal to David Bowie, I took great exception. Both were very successful songwriters and rock stars, but, Glen Frey made things more the same, not more different. Frey was a well-paid artisan and Bowie a visionary and artist. Thomas Kinkade to Andy Warhol or Salvador Dali.<\/p>\n

FINALLY – back to my recently departed bandmate and friend Davy Jones\u2026Davy took great relish in telling me how much he hated (yes, hated) The Eagles on many, many occasions. He was forced to play them on the commercial station that he DJ\u2019ed at in Little Rock in the 70\u2019s, and his refusal to continue to play them and other artists ultimately led to his departure.<\/p>\n

I remember one particular incident in the early 80\u2019s when Davy lived on Lafayette St. in Austin. Dick Hays had been dating, well, we\u2019ll just say she was a semi-professional lady of the night named Brandy\u2026everyone had been tripping on acid all night. Finally everyone had gone to bed except for Brandy who continued drinking and listening to records in the living room. Around 8 or 9 am Davy had finally had enough when Brandy put, you guessed it, \u201cOne Of These Nights\u201d from \u201cEagles Greatest Hits\u201d on the turntable, and foolishly cranked it up. Davy stormed into the living room, ripped the offending volume off the record player and threw it at the wall, smashing it into many, many pieces causing the young strumpet to bawl inconsolably.<\/p>\n

I can say with absolute certainty that even on his death bed, somewhat chastened by the high-hard heat life had throw at him, Davy Jones would not have hesitated one millisecond to exclaim upon Frey or Henley\u2019s death that \u201cThe Eagles suck green fucking donkey dicks!\u201d I’m still here to say it for him. The Eagles suck green fucking donkey dicks.<\/p>\n

I hate the band, not the man. R.I.P. Glenn Frey.<\/p>\n

:::<\/center><\/p>\n

[Editor’s note: Jeff Smith owns Saustex records and fronts the longstanding San Antonio, TX, y’alt-punk band The Hickoids. This missive was in response to a barrage of criticism against Smith, some perhaps less than sincere, for a post on Facebook following the recent death of Glenn Frey, wherein Smith said, “No disrespect to Glenn Frey’s family and friends but the person on TV who just mentioned him in the same sentence as David Bowie, implying that there was anything comparable about their talents, would not know the difference between a melted ice cream sandwich laying on the sidewalk and Baked Alaska at a five star restaurant.”]<\/strong>
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