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dvd review: VAMPIRE CHEERLEADERS, from Burning Angel

[DVD Review]

VAMPIRE CHEERLEADERS

From the 2015 AEE Trade Show in Las Vegas: Burning Angel’s Tattoo Porn

reviewed by Bob Younger

STARRING: Joanna Angel (also Director), Jessie Lee, Krissie Dee, Veronica Layke, Draven Star, Small Hands, Seth Gamble, Tommy Pistol, Mr Pete, Tommy Pistol, Wolf Hudson

The VAMPIRE CHEERLEADERS dvd was in a schwag bag being given out in the hallway of the AEE show in Vegas yesterday along with a neoprene beerbottle-cupholder and a couple of fliers for The Stockroom.

The acting in this scripted porn starting out is so bad, just retarded awful, but maybe that’s their niche at Burning Angel. One of the original alternative porn girls website owners, Joanna Angel is an unabashed limits-pusher when it comes to what’s socially acceptable or correct. Her porn is like skits put on for her and her friends to have fun with. You’re just along for the ride. Haha – I almost typoed: “just along for the rise” har har!

The sex and the “Extra Shit” part of this disc makes up for any thespianic deficit though. The inked girls, especially the perfect body of Joanna Angel, look great when their production stills are being shot. They’re more watchable when they’re being themselves or just fucking, not fucking acting. All the cast are good and yeah if you like hot female flesh you’ll be turned on by the sexy photoshoot striptease this heavily tattooed vixen Joanna puts on. Her tits and ass are world class AWESOME!

Back in the main part of this dvd, Tommy Pistol goes over the top by hamming it up with his “sensitive werewolf” act. His hyperbolic emotiveness is some funny stuff. The guy has no shame, and it shows.

So the story goes like this: Joanna and her girls are trying to get into the state finals with their cheerleading squad. But they have a problem. They’re vampires. They have this urge to keep killing people to eat their blood and stuff. It’s getting in the way of their success. They also piss off Tommy’s character the werewolf by snubbing him because he doesn’t quite fit in to their idea of coolness, because they’re vampires, you see. Vampires are sexy and cool. Werewolves are hairy and not sexy. They’re not cool. Tommy’s werewolf just wants acceptance. He tells them he’s “different” like they are and has cheering skills that can be put to use by the girls on the squad. But they’ll have none of it and turn him away, insultingly shaming him into baleful howls of sadness (he’s a werewolf so his cries are howls).

He gets revenge in the end though by killing all the murderous vampire cheerleaders. But even that’s without satisfaction because he’s overcome with guilt when he realizes he has anger management issues.

Hey wait, vampires can’t die. Oh well, sorry, these vampires in Joanna’s porn version of the cheerleading world certainly die. Boy do they die. Spoiler alert: life sucks and then you die.

Seriously. Check out this dvd’s “Extra Shit” section. It’ll make you want to go back and laugh at the dialog, as well as appreciate some of the hot banging.

Did I mention Joanna’s got some beautiful perfect HOT TITS?

You can find Vampire Cheerleaders HERE.

VAMPIRE CHEERLEADERS disc.
VAMPIRE CHEERLEADERS disc.
Screen shot from VAMPIRE CHEERLEADERS. Joanna Angel second from left, Tommy Pistol at right.
Screen shot from VAMPIRE CHEERLEADERS. Joanna Angel second from left, Tommy Pistol at right.
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More Money For Public Education Instead Of Banksters

L.A. Museum Of Natural History: Money Well Spent

by Reviewer Rob

Went to the Museum of Natural history in Los Angeles in November. If you haven’t been there recently their current exhibit is Grandes Maestros and is running through September 13, 2015. Below are some photos I shot of the main exhibit hall, which is an engrossing experience in itself. The Aztec, Mayan and Toltec art room is worth an hour of any art lovers time, and the hall of taxidermied dioramas has plenty of well-lit photo ops. It’s is a fun value for kids young and old. More public funding – federal, state and local – should be put into museums and libraries, instead of the crooked banksters. Seriously, dollar for dollar public education is better.

:::

Pictures below, starting at the top: Aztec figurines from the pre-Columbian art room, the iconic and well-known dinosaur exhibit installed in the main room you first enter when coming into the museum, a solid gold “bat” firgurine in the Aztec room about the size of an adult’s open hand, Miss Piccard with a stuffed adult male polar bear looming over her in the taxidermy room. All photos by ReviewerPhoto.com.

Pre-Columbian Aztec figurines. Photo by ReviewerPhoto.com.
Pre-Columbian Aztec figurines. Photo by ReviewerPhoto.com.
Dinosaur fossil installation in the entryway to The Los Angeles Museum Of Natural History. Photo by ReviewerPhoto.com.
Dinosaur fossil installation in the entryway to The Los Angeles Museum Of Natural History. Photo by ReviewerPhoto.com.
Solid gold Aztec "bat" figure. Photo by ReviewerPhoto.com.
Solid gold Aztec “bat” figure. Photo by ReviewerPhoto.com.
Stuffed Polar Bear shown stalking prey. Photo by ReviewerPhoto.com.
Stuffed Polar Bear shown stalking prey. Photo by ReviewerPhoto.com.
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Lisa Suckdog Carver Performed Au Naturel

[Art History]

“The Crazy Bitch Came Through”



by Krk Dominguez

[Normally we avoid posting nudes content here but this is different. Lisa is art history. Members: CLICK HERE FOR THE STORY WITH THE NUDE PHOTOS. To become a member join the Xblog HERE.]

I know you’re not here for a history lesson, but I’m not getting paid to entertain with a full floor show.

If you people can put a wrapper on this concept- the story will be palpable. These images were captured back in the dark ages, some 20 to 25 years ago, before the internet, before digital cameras: before Bill Gates could buy small countries.

I was fortunate enough back then to have been a nerd. I read a lot of zines edited by strange and compelling people or mean and nasty folk. Anyway you dice it, I ended up corresponding with a Lisa Suckdog over at Rollerderby (corresponding = me ordering a t-shirt & a couple issues of said rag). Her zine in particular was seductively odd (Google it, I’m lazy).

So, in one of her zines a buncha pictures pop up of her on stage nude with some weasel-looking punk named Costes. Of course they played it off as art. Only god will ever truly know what kinda shit they were ingesting at the time such a concept was conceived. But, to their credit, they took the show on the road and an LA date was scheduled.

When the time came – sure enough the LA Weekly got a hold of it and the word spread like herpes at a Grateful Dead parking lot, “Deranged naked chick on stage with drunk Frenchman”. Needless to say her LA debut had vast more in attendance than Sound Garden’s did, albeit her audience seemed less concerned with monitor feedback.

The crazy bitch came through. Out of the hundreds of gigs that I documented I will probably always remember some of this night. I would go into detail for you, but it would require some math and I doubt the majority of you went to high school. YouTube it or ask Larry Hardy…

~ Krk Dominguez – Huntington Beach, Ca. – 6/8/10 – 9:37 AM

Below: photos by Krk of alt-writer Lisa Carver (Vice Magazine as well as numerous books) and her then-husband Costes onstage as SUCKDOG.

Lisa Carver, pre-nude punkrock performance.
Lisa Carver, pre-nude punkrock performance.
Lisa Carver,  upstage of Costez.
Lisa Carver, upstage of Costez.

Lisa Carver and her punkrock opera, early 1990's , before the nude show begins...
Lisa Carver and her punkrock opera, early 1990’s , before the nude show begins…


Members: CLICK HERE FOR THE STORY WITH THE NUDE PHOTOS. To become a member join the Xblog HERE. ~Editor